How to stop a divorce? Tough question considering that almost 50% of marriages in this country end up in divorce. If your marriage is on shaky ground, if you’re constantly arguing and fighting with your spouse, how to stop a divorce is probably on your mind daily and you want some answers.
But what can you do? You’ve tried to patch things up. You’ve tried being nice, loving, and supportive. You’ve tried just about everything you can think of, but nothing seems to work, and you’re afraid a divorce is imminent.
Sadly, you might have been pushing your husband or wife further away with some of the strategies you’ve been employing in an effort to get them back and stop your divorce.
If you want to discover how to stop a divorce, here are the 3 things you should never do!
No. 1 Never Ever Become Desperate.
I love you! I love you! I need you! I want you! I can’t live without you! Do these words sound familiar? These are all cries from desperate people trying to tell their spouse how much they want them and need them in an effort to stop their spouse from leaving them. These people don’t know how to stop a divorce.
These desperate husbands and wives want their spouse to know how much they mean to them. Unfortunately, their spouse sees these endeavors as final acts of desperation. They see these emanating from a man or woman that they don’t want or even know any more. This fraught man or woman is not the same person they fell in love with. They are totally lacking in confidence and are willing to beg and prostrate themselves in a last ditch effort to stop a divorce. But all they’re really doing is driving their loved one further and further away.
No. 2 Never Promise That You’ll Change.
Let’s face facts: people rarely if ever change! So begging and pleading with your husband or wife that you’ll change and that things will be different if they take you back, just does not work. All you’re really doing is debasing yourself and driving your spouse further away. How to stop a divorce never involves acting powerless.
No. 3 Never Focus on the Negative Aspects of Your Relationship.
When a marriage is in serious trouble, we sometimes want to analyze what went wrong, where me made mistakes, and what we should have done different… if only I would have done this, or if only I wouldn’t have said that etc. Spending hours talking and arguing with your spouse about what you should have done and what you’re sorry for will not repair your broken marriage.
This will do nothing but reinforce to your spouse that divorce is unavoidable. Think about it. Do you want to continue to spend time with someone who does nothing but focus on the negative aspects of your marriage and why it failed? Of course not.
Now that you know what never to do to stop a divorce, you need to learn what exactly you need to do.
If you want to learn how to stop a divorce, here are the 3 things you need to do.
No. 1 Examine Your Relationship Objectively.
Take a step or two backwards and look at your marriage from a whole new objective perspective. Remove all negative emotions from your mind and analyze exactly what it was that attracted you to your spouse initially. Was it their physical appearance, the way they laughed, the way they made you feel? What was it exactly that bonded the two of you together?. What was the initial connection?
No. 2 Go Back in Time to Your First Meeting or Date.
Remember when you first met? Think about how happy and exuberant your partner made you feel. I know when I started dating my future husband, all I wanted was to be with him. It didn’t matter what we did or where we went, I was just elated to be with him. He made me feel so special that I couldn’t help but fall in love with him.
No. 3 Become the Same Person Your Spouse in Fell Love With.
To get your marriage back in order, you need to become that same person that you spouse fell in love with when you started dating. You need to become that happy loving person that your partner found so attractive.
Now this doesn’t mean getting a face lift, liposuction, or losing your beer gut, not that that wouldn’t help. But you need to understand that it’s not your physical appearance that’s going to alter your spouse’s feelings towards you.
What you need to do is forget about all the negatives of your marriage, and center your attention on becoming the happy, confident, loving person you once were. If you focus on your inner beauty and happiness, you’ll soon become the person your spouse once loved and revered.
Once again, you need to become the kind of person your spouse wants to spend time with. That’s the kind of man or woman your spouse will be attracted to. This is how to stop a divorce.
By Rachael Reynolds